Our 10 best Eurovision entries

As the Eurovision heads to Liverpool (like pinch us, is this really happening?) we have a look back at some of the best (maybe not objectively, but in my head) entries the Eurovision has ever seen from the UK, nil points or not.

10. Coming in at number 10 we have Liverpool duo Jemini who racked up an impressive zero points from our estranged European neighbours but there’s a chance this one wasn’t because ‘Europe hates us’ as we usually like to claim. In my opinion, there’s something iconic about being chosen to represent your country at Eurovision and singing the whole thing out of tune – sabotage perhaps? Do Jemini want to break off and start a Scouse Republic like the rest of us?

9. Technically Precious didn’t do so well with their entry ‘Say It Again’ limping home with a disappointing 38 points but it makes it on to the top 10 because Liverpool icon Jenny Frost was a member, and she gave us hit after hit with Atomic Kitten and j’adore her for that.

8. With a lead singer who looks like Tosh from The Bill and a dance routine that was deffo robbed from yer ma’s line dancing class, Brotherhood Of Man’s ‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’ super sweet ode to a 3-year-old was a hit with the Europeans, netting us a win. It’s catchy, it’s inoffensive and there’s a dance routine that’s even less complicated than the Macarena. What’s not to love?

7. Lulu’s Boom Bang A Bang was another winner for us but honestly there’s no accounting for taste because… why? Lulu was better than this, is better than this. Shout was an absolute banger, but this? Europe… why?

6. Another one that’s a bit pants but netted us a win is Sandie Shaw’s pathetic ‘Puppet on a string’. I say pathetic because listen to it/read the lyrics. It’s about a woman pining after a man whose feelings are lukewarm at best. Even Sandie has admitted she can’t stand it apparently so although this was our first home run in Eurovision, petition to have it deleted. 

5. Love City Groove’s ‘Love City Groove’ wasn’t a flop, it was just ahead of its time. Eurovision wasn’t ready for rap. It wasn’t ready for tiny sunglasses, backwards flat caps and catchy 90’s rhythms. It wasn’t LCG’s fault and much like Van Gogh, they just weren’t appreciated in their own time. In the morning, when the sun shines, down on your body, they were really making good music tbh.

4. The skirt ripping, we can’t talk about Eurovision without the skirt ripping. Bucks Fizz gave us a catchy number with ‘Making Your Mind Up’ sure, but 100% the thing that cinched our 4^th Eurovision win was the titillating showmanship of the lads ripping off the girls’ 50’s style swing skirts to reveal little mini skater skirts. Iconic.

3. I guarantee if you’re a millennial and you’re asked to name a Eurovision entry most of you will be able to sing Gina G’s Just a Little Bit. This crossed over from Eurovision to mainstream pop and while she only placed 8^th in the competition the song smashed all over the world earning her a number 1 in the UK and Israel and a top 10 in 16 countries (most of them in Europe… fuming!). She was robbed I tell yer. Plus, the silver mirror dress – COME ON!

2. Another artist who was robbed (this time by our Irish brethren) was none other than super ginge and Scouse queen Sonia with Better The Devil You Know (not to be confused with the Kylie version). Sonia had loads of hits in the 80’s and broke records so we were really bringing our A game at this point, but we were pipped to the post. I mean Europe allegedly hates the UK so sometimes maybe it’s just better the devil you know with them?

1. Look, I don’t think it would be TOO controversial to say that Eurovision should have always been here. Would Ukraine have won if the competition hadn’t coincided with the beginning of the Russian invasion? We’ll never know but we can probably make an educated guess. Sam Ryder’s Spaceman is probably the first Eurovision entry ever to have crossed over from cheesy pop into mainstream, well respected indie. It’s a masterpiece and everyone from yer ma to yer man is happy enough to sing along to this one. Bravo Sam and thanks for helping to catapult Liverpool to the dizzying heights of the Euro universe.

If this has made you all nostalgic for Eurovision of the past you can listen to this list on a playlist right here.