‘After years of IVF, losing weight helped make me a mum’

After two years of IVF, Lauren Bolton was losing hope of ever becoming a mum.

Four miscarriages and numerous failed attempts to get pregnant had taken their toll and, as her marriage to husband Joe suffered, she turned to alcohol to help cope with the heartache and disappointment.

“It’s awful,” she admits. “IVF puts you on the biggest roller coaster of ups and downs, and it’s desperately hard.

“I started partying with my mates, and I put on weight because I wasn’t looking after myself.”

Now though, after turning to Slimming World to lose the excess stones, Lauren, 32, from Tuebrook, is the proud mum of Ethan and Lottie, both born naturally.

And she says:

“Losing weight gave me hope, it gave me my health and confidence … and it made me a mum.”

Lauren got married to Joe, a 32-year-old software developer, when they were both 21.

“We’d known each other since we were 11 and we were best friends at school,” she says. “It wasn’t until we were 18 that we got together though, and we married after we left university (we both went to Edge Hill).”

At first Lauren and Joe, who live in Ormskirk, were busy enjoying their new life together and neither was in a rush to have a baby.

But as time went on it became the natural next step.

“We were about 24 when we started trying for a baby. We’d been really happy being together and then that seemed like the natural progression for us,” says Lauren.

“But it just didn’t happen.

“After about a year of trying we went to the doctors who, because we were both young, sent us for tests, but everything came back normal. We were just told it was unexplained infertility.”

Keen now to start a family, Lauren and Joe started to undergo IVF:

“We were entitled to two rounds, and after the first round we were lucky to end up with 12 embryos which could be implanted.

“But they either didn’t stick or I miscarried. I had four miscarriages, the latest at eight weeks when we’d already told close family, like both our mums, that I was expecting twins.

“It was awful, and after a while we both really struggled. I always say I would never put myself through that again to try to have another child, although I know for many it’s very successful. Joe’s cousin got pregnant on the first try!

“But it was the biggest rollercoaster of emotions for us, mentally demanding and, for me, physically too.

“Joe struggled seeing me go through it, and for both of us we had those two weeks of waiting and hope after they’ve implanted one or two embryos – and then you have to pick yourselves up again when it doesn’t work.

“We used our last embryo in July 2018 and we were in a rocky patch. It had taken its toll on both of us, and we’d lost a lot of hope.

“Joe has aways struggled with his weight, and when you are in so much heartache you stop looking after yourself. Joe had piled the weight on, snacking and eating unhealthily, and I used alcohol, going out with my friends … neither of us were feeling great.”

It was Christmas 2018 that the pair decided they needed to make a change, to lose weight – and to save their marriage.

In January 2019 they both joined Slimming World and by May Joe had lost four stones, and Lauren, 2½st.

“I joined as much to support Joe but because I’d also slowly put weight on.

“Joe went from 20st to 16st, and I went from 10½st to 8½st. But it wasn’t just about the weight. We completely changed our lifestyles – and it brought us back together.

“We started swimming, which helped mentally and physically, and we spent time cooking healthy meals from scratch and planning recipes together instead of opening up a jar.”

Lauren, who changed her job as a counsellor and hypnotherapist to become a Slimming World consultant and now team leader, admits any thoughts of becoming pregnant went out of her head.

And then she found out she had conceived naturally with her son, Ethan, who’s now five.

“We were delighted. The anxiety and fear were still there because of the gruelling years we’d been through, but we were over the moon when he was born in December 2019.

“We had just gone into lockdown in 2020 when I found out I was pregnant with Lottie, who’s now four.

“I know a lot of people hated lockdown and it was awful for many. But while not being around family was hard, we could enjoy being our little family and have that quality time together after all the heartache and longing.

“Losing weight, and eating healthily from scratch, put us in the best place possible to have Ethan and Lottie, and I think for the first time in a long time, helped us to feel in control of everything.

“I love being a mum, and I can’t imagine being without my children now (I always say Ethan was the boy who mended my heart after IVF).

“I never taken Ethan or Lottie for granted. I appreciate every day because of what we went through. When it’s hard I remind myself, this is what I’d dreamed of.

“Going to Slimming World changed everything. I lost weight, but I gained my confidence back, my health and my hope – and, like I say, it made me a mum.

“Now if I can give that same hope to someone else, I’ll be happy.”

Lauren will be starting her own Slimming World group on Saturday, September 20, with weekly classes – 7.30am and 9am – at Burscough Cricket Club, School Lane, Burscough L40 4AE. Call Lauren on 07388 110461.