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Walton man’s epic bike ride for city charity James’ Place which ‘saved my life’
23 seconds ago
Two years ago Connor Doyle was in his ‘darkest place ever’.
Unable to cope with unresolved grief and battered by pressures at work, the 32-year-old from Walton tried to take his own life: “All the trauma had built up over the years and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“I didn’t know where to turn or who to speak to,” he admits.
Now though maintenance engineer Connor is tackling and enjoying life head on – and planning a mammoth 220-mile bike ride from Newcastle to Liverpool to raise money for the men’s crisis support charity James’ Place which helped him.
“James’ Place saved my life,” says Connor, who started a new job in January this year.
“I didn’t even know about James’ Place before a friend told me about them and within two days of reaching out I was sitting there talking to someone.
“They’re amazing.
“Without them I wouldn’t be here. So I want to raise money to make sure they can be there to support other people like me, and to let other men know there is help out there and they needn’t feel weak in asking for it. That’s just as important as raising the cash.
“Their support genuinely helped me to turn things around and that’s why I’ve been campaigning for them ever since.”
Connor, who also works as a DJ for private parties and bars and clubs in Liverpool, reached his lowest point in 2022.
“I hadn’t even realised where I was in my own mind,” explains Connor. “I was having a difficult time with my then work, and there were a lot of pressures from my past, unresolved grief that I just hadn’t dealt with.
“As a young man, you suppress certain emotions; you get on with it and think that everything will get better. But it didn’t, it doesn’t, and it led to me trying to take my own life.
“I was so lucky I wasn’t successful.”
A friend suggested Connor contact James’ Place which opened in Liverpool in June 2018 to save the lives of men in suicidal crisis, make finding help as easy as possible, and offer emotional and practical support.
It was set up by Clare Milford Haven and Nick Wentworth-Stanley after their 21-year-old son, James, died by suicide 10 days after a minor operation. James had no history of mental illness or depression and had sought urgent help for anxiety and suicidal thoughts … but sadly didn’t find it.
Connor says: “Within two days of getting in touch with James’ Place I was talking to someone there. They helped me realise I was feeling how I was because of grief that I hadn’t let myself feel.
“I lost three people close to me in a short space of time and there were warning signs that I just ignored.
“Seeing all my loved ones and friends so scared and shocked after I tried to take my own life made me realise I needed to do something. It was a huge wake up call.
“But it was James’ Place that helped me to deal with everything.”
Connor has already taken part in the National Three Peaks Challenge to raise money for James’ Place and now, with the help of family and friends, he is embarking on the 220-mile bike ride from its centre in Newcastle to James’ Place Liverpool this June.
This is the second year of doing a challenge and he wants it to become an annual event: “I want to go bigger and better every year – so who knows where it will take me?”
Connor is being joined by brother-in-law Jonathan Glynn on the bike ride, along with friends Bryan Woolfall, Joe Hornby, James Foster, Ryan Pratt, and Daniel Jones. Dad John is the designated driver for the trip.
None of the men are keen cyclists: “We have only just got road bikes,” smiles Connor. “But the others all know how much the cause means to me and I really appreciate them putting the work in and doing it. I’m sure they could imagine better ways to spend their weekend.
“I started training in January so I should be okay. The idea is that is it will take us three days, setting off from Newcastle on Friday, June 6 and getting back to Liverpool on Sunday, June 8.
“We are aiming to raise £2,500 (which I think is doable) but also to let men know there is help out there and that you don’t have to be all macho and hide your feelings and emotions.
“And also to ask for help if you need it.
“This can happen to anyone. I never thought I would find myself in the situation I did. People who know me know I’m the one who’s always laughing and joking, and trying to make everyone else laugh as though I haven’t a care in the world.
“I know now it only takes a set of circumstances to take anyone to the dark place I was in.
“We are really lucky to have a service and somewhere like James’ Place right on our doorstep. Because of them, I’m here to tell my story.”
The cost of help and hope
* £15 pays for the first conversation with a man in suicidal crisis to get him the help he needs
* £50 provides an initial assessment for a man in suicidal crisis at a James’ Place centre, within two working days of him seeking help
* £110 covers the cost of a therapy session
* £250 delivers one outreach session at a company or in the community to help James’ Place to reach more men in need
* £850 funds one therapist for a week – meaning 20 men do not face their crises alone
* £1,800 supports one man through James’ Place’s life-saving intervention, enabling him to dismantle his crisis and find hope for the future
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