Some of us have enjoyed two glorious alarm-clock free weeks off work, others just a few days at most, but regardless of how long we’ve avoided it, the dread of going back to work is the same. Cold mornings at the bus stop, mouth-breathers on the train and the utter devastation of forgetting your headphones……and that’s before you even get into the office itself!
Whether you use your phone, your ma or an actual alarm clock, the thought of setting your alarm and wondering what that bloody noise is waking you from your warm toasty bed, makes us want to become bears and just hibernate until April.
Having to go back to wearing socially acceptable clothing for work, or fitting into your uniform can also be a challenge. Smashed the ale and devoured enough Christmas dinner, chocolate and mince pies to feed a small army? Yep us too! Petition to make leggings/grey trackies acceptable work-wear anyone?
Despite having half a selection box for breakfast, vowing to eat something wholesome and healthy for work is a goal many of us set for January. The only issue is trying to get excited about ‘Count of Us’ butties that taste like wet cardboard when there’s a Subway, KFC and Greggs on every corner.
Exchanging pleasantries with colleagues comes naturally to most of us, but how long is it customary to ask ‘How was your Christmas?’ or ‘Did you go out for New Year’ when you really don’t care about the answer? If anyone says ‘Oh I haven’t seen you since last year’ you can legally give them their P45 and have them escorted from the building. True.
How is it only….? You started at 9, put in a sold 8 hour day at it’s only 9:45am. How does the time space continuum actually work? Because we’re like 98% certain it has a wobbler in the first week of Jan. Do yourself a favour, move all clocks out of sight until at least 12th, you’ll thanks us.
There may well come a time in the first few days back where you question your career choices and take a sneaky look on Total Jobs to see if your dream job just happens to be waiting for you. Celebrity Chef, Jamie Dornan’s private masseuse, drummer in Kasabian, Liverpool striker…..whatever. Dream big kids because it’ll at least waste another 10 minutes of the longest day ever.
Eventually the clock will roll around to 5:30pm or the end of your shift and you’ll become eternally grateful for all the luxuries your job affords you. Like bus/train fair to get home, heating, food in the fridge, Netflix and a big old comfy bed……oh and an alarm clock.
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