Features
Liverpool mum’s ‘never too young’ message after losing her 24-year-old daughter to bowel cancer
8 months ago
In her early 20s, Millie Grace was considered too young to have bowel cancer despite having several red flag symptoms.
But just 10 months after her cancer was found during an unrelated operation and diagnosed as stage 4, glamorous fun-loving Millie died aged 24.
Right to the end, she never stopped believing she would beat the disease. Even as she lay in a Marie Curie hospice bed in Liverpool, staff arranged for her to have her lashes, brows and nails done as she planned a trip to London with mum Tess.
Now, two-and-a-half years since she lost her youngest daughter in October 2021, social worker Tess is raising awareness of bowel cancer among young people and fundraising for the hospice where Millie spent the last weeks of her life.
She plans to tell Millieâs story in schools, colleges, universities, youth groups, sports clubs; anywhere those in their teens and 20s might hear it.
More than anything she wants them not to be too embarrassed to get checked if theyâre worried about symptoms.
She also wants health professionals to appreciate just how difficult it might be for a young person to come forward and discuss something so incredibly personal.
âMillieâs symptoms started when she was about 17, sheâd noticed blood from her bum, but she was mortified. She didnât even tell me about it for a long time,â says Tess.
âFor Millie to even tell the doctor was such a big thing, but when she did go she was told one of the tests was an internal finger one. As soon as she heard that, she said she wasnât going back, there was no chance Millie was ever going to have that examination.
âSo for me, raising awareness is about two things – I want young people talking about it, so if theyâve got a symptom theyâre not ashamed to get it checked.
âAnd itâs around understanding how our young people feel. This isnât something theyâre likely to go to the doctors with, and if they do go I think doctors need to be mindful about how itâs approached so not to frighten them off.â
Although sheâd experienced bleeding, Millie didnât have other bowel cancer symptoms and Tess believes she wasnât specifically tested for it because of her age.
âHer blood tests showed she had no anaemia, which is a big signal, and she said she hadnât lost weight even though when we look back at photos sheâd lost a lot. Was that a symptom or was it caused by something else like working full time or going to the gym more?
âI think sometimes symptoms are there but until you take a step back and see the whole picture you donât always link them together. Constipation on its own or weight loss on its own could be anything, there are always other reasons.
âBefore her diagnosis, I remember saying to one of the doctors âitâs nothing sinister is it?â and being told she was far too young for it to be bowel cancer. When the consultant was telling us it was stage 4 he said it was extremely rare in someone Millieâs age.
âBowel cancer is thought to be an older personâs cancer, so itâs not something GPs generally consider testing for in somebody of Millieâs age. Iâm trying to change that.
âIf people spoke more about bowel cancer in young people it might have been on mine and Millieâs radar to think, actually, it could be this.
âI want to enable our very young adults to be aware of the symptoms of bowel cancer and to feel assertive and knowledgeable enough to insist on being tested if they have any.â
By the time Millie, from Norris Green, was diagnosed her cancer had already spread to her liver and ovaries. She endured gruelling chemotherapy with typical feistiness and positivity, says Tess.
âSheâd go to chemo with a full face of make-up and hair done, then sheâd go to the pub with her mates or out afterwards. There was never any, âIâll go home to sleep for a couple of daysâ she was always going off to do something.â
When she was admitted to the hospice in Woolton in September 2021, Tess â who has an older daughter Hope â didnât tell Millie just how ill she was.
âI didnât tell her she wasnât going to live, what good would it have done?â says her mum. âShe was in there thinking she was resting and getting pain meds and sheâd be out soon and going to London with me in a couple of weeks.
âShe had her lashes and nails done two days before she died. In her head, she was going to get better. She wasnât in denial, I think it was too much to take in and that was just her, she just got on with things. She was always amazing, in every way, but once she got this diagnosis she was like a firecracker, she determined it wasnât going to let it get her down.â
To raise funds for the hospice, as a thank you for their incredible care of Millie, Tess has organised a fitness afternoon at Walton Sports Centre on Sunday April 14, 12.30-2.30pm. Thereâll be a bouncy castle for kids and two hours of fitness for ÂŁ5 entry fee featuring Hiitstep, spinning, box lift with weights and clubercise, plus a raffle with prizes including Creamfields and Reminisce Arena tickets. Everyone is donating their time so every penny will go directly to Liverpool Marie Curie Hospice.